How to Counter Fear and Worries?
In this video, I want to talk about fear. Fear is an impulse that all of us have. I actually heard that that true fear according to science, there is only two types of fear. One is fear of noise and the fear of heights.
Noise, think about it, there is a fast approaching car or if we hear somebody suddenly pressing the breaks and the car makes noise to tires. We actually have something that goes through us, especially if that noise is approaching us, we fear. At the same time, fear of heights. A lot of times I remember when I took one of my kids, a daughter, she was only 3 or 4 months old and I was looking down from a second floor, she grab my shirt and I was like, wow, you are only 3, 4 months old, what do you understand about the heights.
So there is two types of fear. Basically, they are the true fears. Everything else, it was all conditioning. Conditioning since we were a child growing up. It was given to us. So I want to focus on 3 of them. One is of fear of a loss. A lot of times we want to go and do something, whether to start a business or a relationship or starting a business or take upon yourself something right away one of the thoughts would be, if I am going to start living this healthy lifestyle, I am not going to be able to eat cakes anymore. I am not going to be able to eat candies.
So people right away, gravitate to what they are investing, what they are losing, instead, focus should be on what am I gaining? Am I gaining a healthy body? Am I gaining more energy? Am I gaining feeling good, attitude, confidence? There is so much more you can gain but instead, we go and focus on our loss.
A lot of times, actually people fail because of that. They never start because of that. Now, second fear, is fear of worry of going through a process, the pain of the actual process, whether it is a, let us say, I am going to start watching what I am eating. Somebody says you can cut down on your calories. Cut down on calories. It is alright. I am going to slice off this from my diet. I am going to slice off dairy. I am going to slice off all kinds of sugar.
And going through that process, the pains of being used to shoving it all in, without even thinking about it now becoming so aware that process is painful. Process of going to the gym. You started to exercise. Your muscles are not used to it. It is painful. It is basically painful but you just need to get used to it until you become more comfortable with it and then that actually becomes exciting but this initial process is discomfort and painful and obviously, most of us don’t like to change. That is our nature.
So the invitation is actually to go and beat the nature because if you would follow the process and find a way maybe, how can I make this process less painful? Maybe I can make it more enjoyable. You know what? I am going to treat myself with a reward or something if I go through this or take it day at a time. Not necessarily looking at this whole big picture that a mountain you need to climb.
One break at a time. Build a wall. Now, the third type of fear is fear of outcome. Outcome, people would say, you know what? What if achieve my goal? And it is actually not really what I wanted. And it is not going to be as I think it is going to be. So that type of fear actually also disables us from moving forward and we do not proceed. We should actually think about if by not taking action and staying where you are, you definitely fail and you definitely not comfortable, not happy.
Otherwise, you would not entertain the idea of proceeding and doing something. So push forward. Look forward for the outcome. Think about positive things. And again, all comes down to taking actions. Small action, one at a time and get to the way you need to get.